a. Loose topsoil
b. Terrorist attack
c. His minders took off the stabilisers
2. And which king of bling footballer won a Black media award?
a. Rio Ferdinand
b. Patrick Viera
c. David Beckham
3. Which ex-pop singer is Doctor Who's new assistant?
4. Why is the boy born from 21-year-old sperm so lucky?
a. He missed Thatcherism
b. He missed the Spice Girls
c. He missed new NHS rules on free IVF
ANSWERS: 1a, 2a, 3b, 4c, 5c