a The new anti-obesity drive will help kids run away faster

b Eighty per cent of parents are planning a sickie themselves

c Truancy rates have risen 40 per cent since 1997

2 In what new way is the nanny state to protect us?

a Traffic wardens to check pedestrians’ shoelaces are done up

b New laws to make sure tap water isn’t too hot

c Decibel controls on the new Radio 1 breakfast show

3 How are Americans making visitors feel really welcome?

a Free cookies at the airport

b. A cheery smile and handshake from customs officials

c Taking picture as they arrive

4 Who is footballer Michael Owen’s girlfriend?

a Don’t know

b Don’t know, but she just fell off a horse

c I’m sorry, but is this really news?

Answers below the crossword

1c, 2b, 3c, 4b