Friday Five: Stereotypical teacher phrases you've avoided so far

16th September 2016 at 17:02
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Succumbing to those clichéd teacher phrases becomes more inevitable as the term progresses. But what do they really mean?

You may have begun the school year with renewed aspirations of becoming the most inspirational of teachers. But it only takes one student to spill the contents of their pencil case during your captivating lesson on adverbial clauses for those clichés come tumbling out. Here are five phrases you’ll be hard-pressed to avoid over the coming weeks and months... and what they really mean:
 

  1. “You’ve done really well so far today. Don’t spoil it now!”
    "No, I can't remember why I thought allowing you to work in groups of your own choosing was a good idea either. But we're halfway through this now AND I'm being observed, so please, please continue to look like you care about the plight of the Sumatran striped rabbit."


     
  2. “There should be four legs and two feet on the floor.”
    "Do it again and you'll be treated to my fictitious but delightfully gruesome story about the boy who swung on his chair and lived to regret it for the rest of his life... You have been warned."


     
  3. “It’s your own time you’re wasting...”
    "Actually, I only have 10 minutes in which to make and drink a cup of tea, wolf down a limp-looking ham sandwich and spend a much-needed penny before I'm on lunch duty. But I'm happy to forego every minute of my precious me-time to show you who's boss. (It's me, by the way...)"


     
  4. “It doesn’t matter who started it. I’m stopping it...”
    "Now is not the time to be discussing the authenticity of Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston's relationship, let alone arguing over it. I wish you showed this much passion when debating the effectiveness of the Tashkent Declaration following the 1965 Indo-Pakistani War."


     
  5. “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed”
    "I've had enough. It's time to pull out the big guns... I'm playing the guilt card. Take THAT, suckers!"

 

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