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Scots have world's worst excuses

The Diary is loath to do itself out of a job but a new website is offering teachers the chance to share funny classroom moments. Its name, allscottishteachers.co.uk, betrays its roots north of the border but the site's mastermind, Robert Morrison, head of languages at a Glasgow secondary, says stories have arrived from across the UK and as far afield as Australia, China and the United States since it was set up earlier this year.

Some are classics, like the attendance officer who received this explanation from a parent:"J was kept off school yesterday as he was upset at having been caught truanting." Or the accidentally ambiguous school PA system announcement: "Would all pupils stop aimlessly throwing snowballs in the playground."

Other tales have a nice local flavour, like the deputy head who plucked up the courage to speak to a Glaswegian mother about her child's BO. She replied: "He's here tae be telt, no tae be smelt! He's no a f***in'

geranium." But our favourite was a note that shows what so many staff put up with: "Dear Miss, Fred couldn't do his punishment exercise as his sister and I treated him to a McDonald's."

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