Some are classics, like the attendance officer who received this explanation from a parent:"J was kept off school yesterday as he was upset at having been caught truanting." Or the accidentally ambiguous school PA system announcement: "Would all pupils stop aimlessly throwing snowballs in the playground."
Other tales have a nice local flavour, like the deputy head who plucked up the courage to speak to a Glaswegian mother about her child's BO. She replied: "He's here tae be telt, no tae be smelt! He's no a f***in'
geranium." But our favourite was a note that shows what so many staff put up with: "Dear Miss, Fred couldn't do his punishment exercise as his sister and I treated him to a McDonald's."