A sepia classic

Meanwhile, a real video nasty has been created and issued to schools by Stockport council. The Golden Hour - helpfully produced by the health and environment boffins - is designed to provide every help for heads faced with a major diarrhoea outbreak on the premises.

At 16 minutes - some 15 too long, the Diary considers - the video explains how gastro-intestinal illnesses arrive in schools, their spread and how the situation can be, er, contained. The Golden Hour, is, apparently, a reminder of the importance of a speedy reaction to gain control of the pestilence. Not, as you may have thought, a reference to the time spent locked groaning in a hideous cubicle.

"This was a low-budget production using in-house facilities," said a spokesman from the local authority. It is unclear whether the area suffers disproportionately from outbreaks of the trots. A hundred Stockport schools have been sent the video, and the Diary is confident that it's the first thing that teachers will reach for when 25 infants all need the loo at the same time.

Log in or register for FREE to continue reading.

It only takes a moment and you'll get access to more news, plus courses, jobs and teaching resources tailored to you