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Smoker's revenge

When inveterate smoker David Munn, a councillor on North Ayrshire education committee, went to a parents' meeting at West Kilbride primary, he adjourned at the end of the meeting to the toilets for a quick puff. Emerging, he found that everyone had gone, and since he has multiple sclerosis and uses a stick he had to call on the janitor to help him negotiate the ramped exit.

Next day he phoned Brian Gardner, head of educational resources, who had accompanied him on the school visit: "Did you hear that a Navy chopper from HMS Gannet at Prestwick was summoned to West Kilbride to get me home?" The official had a nasty moment until he realised it was a wind-up.

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