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Soundbites

Our school has three houses. For the Christmas party, Miss Smith asked the Vikings to bring biscuits, the Normans to bring cakes and the Romans to bring savouries. On the day she met a mum carrying a dish from which wafted a delicious smell. She said worriedly: "John remembered that the Romans ate chicken, but I'm not sure I've got the herbs right."

BOB ASTON

* My colleague was doing "g" sounds in a Year 7 English lesson. She got to the word "gynaecologist".

"Does anyone know what one of these is?" she asked.

"Yes, it's a man who cleans drains," came the confident reply.

JACINTA MILLS

* A Year 6 group was using a CD-Rom to investigate the night sky when Jessica located Betelgeuse.

"Would you like to visit Betelgeuse, Jessica?" the teacher asked.

"No," she replied in a rather dismissive tone. "I've already been to Majorca and I didn't like the food."

WENDY REED

We pay pound;30 for each Soundbite published. Send yours to Jill Craven, Friday magazine, 66-68 East Smithfield, London E1W 1BX. Or email: jill.craven@tes.co.uk

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