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Soundbites

My colleague was startled to receive a verbal message relayed by Sophie from another member of staff: "She wants to borrow your Tampax please."

After a moment's thought, Sophie was sent back with a message "Will this do?" attached to a bottle of ink correcting fluid.

JAN ROBINSON

* I asked a member of my GCSE PE class where her missing homework was. "Do you mean the work on the Paralytic Games?" Not what I had in mind.

PAULINE ATKINSON

* I was explaining to Year 7 how Christmas is celebrated in December to coincide with an existing pagan festival. It isn't necessarily when Jesus was born, because we don't know the month of his birth.

James's face lit up: "Isn't it on the internet?"

ANN HOLMES

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