Soundbites

A Year 9 student, immediately after a sex education session and presumably still thinking about it when he came to a biology lesson on photosynthesis, wrote: 'We altered the contraception of the carbon dioxide we held the glass screen with clap stands.'

SUE HOWARTH, BATH

From a GCSE answer on marriage vows : 'The couple vow to remain together until dust do them part.'

MARY PEARSON, CHELTENHAM

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