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Comment written on a "Sorry you're leaving" card by a Year 4 child: "You have been a good teacher. I don't want you to live."

Daniel Forster, Hertfordshire

Year 1 are sitting on the carpet listening to "Three Little Pigs". "So he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down!" Little lad, incredulous:

"What a bastard!"

David Eldridge, North Yorkshire

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