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Soundbites

Telling the Easter story to her Year 1 class, a colleague was trying to explain the significance of the bread and wine. "No good for my mum," trilled D'Arcy. "She only likes vodka."

JANET LEWIS, WREXHAM

Written by a pupil in a GCSE RE class: "Cohabitation is when you live together without exchanging vowels."

MARION CURTIS, CAMBRIDGE

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