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Soundbites

Year 5 pupils were sharing knowledge about teachers' "real names". One boy contributed: "I know the Queen's real name - Elizabeth Vagina."

KIERAN LEE, NOTTS

Mulling over news reports he'd seen about China, a Year 2 pupil said: "Lots of people seem to be dying of SATs, don't they."

Fiona McDonnell, Cambridge

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