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I was reading an essay by one of my Year 11s who has to visit hospital fairly regularly. She wrote a stylish and genuinely affecting piece about the terror she feels as each visit approaches. I read it with a sympathetic tear until she described her doctor, who she doesn't like: "He has grey hair which is reseeding on the top of his head."


* At one time I was responsible for handing out italic pens in a primary school. Because of the nature of italic nbs, I had to know which hand children wrote with. Often they didn't know and I would suggest they wrote a word so I could see. Usually they wrote their names. One day I chanced to look at the scrap of paper a little girl had used before I threw it away. She had written: "Help."


* As I was teaching a class of 15-year-olds, one lad put up his hand and asked: "Sir, you're in a bad mood and you're wearing a suit. Are you getting married?" JIM UPTON

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