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Soundbites

The class teacher asked the music teacher if the choir was to sing carols at the local old folks' home as they had done last year. She said that they were, but that they would have to sing in a different lounge this year.

"Oh. Which lounge?" she was asked.

"The departure lounge!" quipped the staffroom cynic.

BOB ASTON

* After each had brought in a cuddly toy, pupils in an infant class were asked to imitate the sound the animal would make. Jake brought in a lion and made a great impression with his "roar!". Annie's dog ws easily imitated with a "woof-woof!". When asked what he had brought in, Nicholas showed his frog. "And what sound does a frog make, Nicholas?" "Budweiser, Miss!" CHRISTINE BOLTON * An HM inspector was visiting our school to look at the literacy policy. He showed great interest in the work some Year 7 pupils were doing on Beowulf.

"So why has Beowulf been in the news recently?" There was a moment's silence and then a hand shot up. "Because there's been a full moon and that's when Beowulfs come out."

GERALDINE GOODRICH

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