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* "My mum got out of bed naked," wrote the small girl.

"Oh," said the teacher. "Wasn't she cold?" The child gave her that look of incomprehension. Then the mist cleared. "No, Miss. That says knackered!" DTH

* In the plenary session following the literacy hour - and having extracted key facts from reference books on Ancient Greece - one group informed us that women could not take part in the Olympic Games, not even as spectators. Whle expressing disbelief at such discrimination, one girl assured us that that it was OK as the women could watch it on TV.


* During morning assembly, the vicar was describing to the children how the Creator would have needed natural resources to "build" the Earth. He asked why the sun was so vital in this task. An eager boy in Year 5 rasied his hand. "To help the cement dry more quickly."


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