Soundbites

My four-year-old daughter came out of school clutching a collage. Her classmates were all holding similar collages, each consisting of a large, green field under a long, blue sky. In the middle of each field stood a small sheep made of cotton wool. "Look, Daddy," said my daughter proudly, "I made a lambscape!" TONY ELSTON

* Conversation at the school gate. "Hello, Mummy. I swallowed some urine today." Mummy looks aghast before a scholfriend adds: "I think you mean chlorine."

They had been swimming.

VAL EVANS

* The reason for the absence of a teacher - she was recovering from a hysterectomy - got out. The following conversation took place with Year 10 twins.

Twin one: "We reckon she's putting it on."

Twin two: "Yeah, she doesn't need all that time off. Our dad had the same thing and he went back to work the next day."

JANE HOPE


Log in or register for FREE to continue reading.

It only takes a moment and you'll get access to more news, plus courses, jobs and teaching resources tailored to you