* My nursery nurse was preparing an exciting small-group activity. One of the children looked at all the objects on the table and said: "What the hell are we going to do now?" JUDI LAMBETH

* The first of these quotations comes from a mock GCSE exam answer and the second comes from a Year 10 drama journal where the student has been writing about an improvisation. 1. "Durig my drama GCSE course I have played a variety of rolls."

2. "I'm a secret agent: women fall in love with me. I own a penthouse where I take pictures of modules."


* We were revising for the Year 6 Sats when I asked a boy in my class what a component in a circuit was. He thought carefully and then said: "Is it your enemy?" EMMA FROGBROOK

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