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I had had my normally straight hair permed, rather attractively, I thought. Next morning I stood, as usual, at my classroom door to welcome my class, anticipating a few compliments from my pleasant Year 4 children. The first to appear, a girl, took one look and remarked cheerily: "Have you got a wig on, Miss?"


* Our nursery children try hard with buttons, laces and zips, but sometimes find them difficult. I asked Andrew, who was struggling: "Can you do yur zip up?" He thought for a bit, then said: "No, but I can do it down."


* While discussing the topic of growth with a group of four and five-year-olds, I asked: "What do little boys and girls need to make them grow?" One eager little chap shot up his hand. "Parties."


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