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* While I was on my PGCE at a primary school where my dad was a vicar, a pupil asked: "Are you Father Richard's son?" "Yes," I replied.

Second question: "Are you Jesus then?" CHAD EVANS

* Answers from a young Year 8 girl on a vocabulary and spelling test:

"Adversary - a kind of anerversary."

"Destitute - like dstiny but more difficult."


* Science teacher: "Last week we looked at the way animals live by eating something else. Everything starts with plants, then small animals, then bigger ones. Jason, would you give us an example of a food chain?" Jason: "ErI a string of sausages?"


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