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* To begin a lesson on time with a Year 3 and 4 class, we were brainstorming words you could use to measure time. The discussion was moving on to counting years - decades, centuries and so on - when one of the boys put his hand up and said: "My grandad always counts in donkey's years. How many is that?"


* Before starting a new history topic, I asked my Year 3 class what they knew about the Romans. One boy replied: "They built lots of bridges.." I was about to praise him for his accurate answer, when he added: " they could bring their tanks over."


* Three girls on a school visit to France needed to make a call of nature. Before they entered the nearest bistro, one of them told her friends that, in French, toilet is pronounced "twalay". "Twalay, twalay!" shouted one girl. The barman beamed at the desperate trio - and served up three glasses of milk.


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