“Oh dear,” I said. “Why did you get so upset?” “I didn’t. Those are Mummy’s tears.”

SUE RULLIERE

I recently completed my first teaching practice. One morning, a child in Year 3 came up to me and asked who I was. I told him that I was helping in class 5 for six weeks. The boy then asked if I was a teacher. I explained that I was training to be one. He seemd confused by this and asked: “Are you or aren’t you a teacher? I mean, do you get to shout?”

NICKY GUTCH

* We were in a merit assembly for lower school. A child talked about his compass work so I asked the others if they knew ways to remember the compass points. “Never eat shredded wheat,” came a reply. “Yes,” I said, “that’s the one I use too. Does anybody have a different one?” “Naughty elephants suck willies,” said one girl.

HELEN PATERSON