Sweet FE
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Sweet FE
https://www.tes.com/magazine/archive/sweet-fe-1
If the principal’s still talking, no need to get the braziers out just yet
National curriculum:
More death by ring binders
National expenditure:
Don’t be bitter.
National learning line:
When a lecturer from one college rings a colleague in another with news about (a) the 1998 budget and (b) new breathing exercises
Nationally-accredited qualification:
Even the Daily Mail and half the Tory party have to recognise it National training taskforce:
Whatever it is you’re doing, you’re obviously doing it all wrong
Nationalisation:
Er, look, aren’t we supposed to have all got over that womb to Portakabin dependency culture stuff?
Natural wastage:
It’s not always your fault. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes honey
Needs:
Don’t say that when you were a student you didn’t have them, you just played the latest Leonard Cohen record and decided you didn’t feel “that” suicidal
Negotiated programmes:
We’ll call it anything if the clients promise to leave the refectory and do some work
Negotiating office:
Sort of like being a member of ACAS but without the international glamour
Negotiations:
We all know it’s good to talk but surely four years over the Silver Book agreement is a little bit extreme
Networking:
Meeting someone for lunch, as you’ve decided you’d quite like their job. And, no, it’s not anyone in FE stupid
New college culture:
Calls students customers and makes you report to a Klingon-speaking business manager. Makes you feel like a Socialist Worker seller when you ask what all this has to do with education
New deal:
Hope against hope
New Labour:
And to think you stayed up all night to see Portillo defeated
New money:
Where?
Non-verbal communication:
At least you can claim your students are good at something
Numbers:
Do principals dream of double-packed Portakabins?
Numeracy:
Ever noticed that when you add all your holiday entitlements up you always seem to get such a miserably low figure? There something funny somewhere
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