Lay inspectors: They are surprised by your short hours and long holidays and wonder why your foundation caterers haven’t read Dickens’s complete works.
LEA: Please, no nostalgie de la boue, remember the red tape you faced requisitioning a bucket for your Portakabin.
Learner achievements: What used to be called “writing something”.
Learning resources manager: Someone who believes magic markers are rare and precious.
Learning support: Desks provided Lecturers: Socrates today would probably have to be employed by ELS.
Legal obligations: Colleges worried they may not be able to provide enough early Eighties chromium furniture in their reception areas.
Lifelong learning: Eureka! Earth-shattering! Why didn’t anyone else think of this?
Loans: Why shouldn’t our students get seriously into debt too?
Local partnerships: Frequently drowning your sorrows in The Dog and Boot with other post-16 college lecturers.
Lottery money: Don’t all rush at once.
Malcolm Burgess
