An acronym too far

24th February 1995 at 00:00
When the financial vice-principal started calling students "units of funding", I decided things had gone too far. After all, while I accept that people with a limited vocabulary feel more secure with jargon, the adoption of UOFs was beyond a joke.

"Each unit of funding represents Pounds 2,500," he droned, "and 1,000 UOFs realise Pounds 2.5 million in income." The meeting to discuss achievable targets (ATs) had hit a new low.

Of course, it's all part of the incorporated college's love affair with cosmetic surgery. Make the publicity believable and reality can be replaced with marketing. For instance, take LAs - learning agreements, to the uninformed. Make your UOFs sign away their rights, take their money and when the course fails to run, bank the cash and refuse refunds.

Meanwhile, back at the FVP's table, the world dances to the drum of centralised funding where assets are realised and no one actually meets a UOF. Imagine the future. The FVP is summoned to the VP's office. "Tell me John, " he muses, "have you ever seen a UOF?" "Well VPI" he mumbles, "I can't say I have."

"That's all right then."

The student-less future. Now, that's progress!

Joe Bilby is a FE lecturer in Hampshire.

Subscribe to get access to the content on this page.

If you are already a Tes/ Tes Scotland subscriber please log in with your username or email address to get full access to our back issues, CPD library and membership plus page.

Not a subscriber? Find out more about our subscription offers.
Subscribe now
Existing subscriber?
Enter subscription number

Comments

The guide by your side – ensuring you are always up to date with the latest in education.

Get Tes magazine online and delivered to your door. Stay up to date with the latest research, teacher innovation and insight, plus classroom tips and techniques with a Tes magazine subscription.
With a Tes magazine subscription you get exclusive access to our CPD library. Including our New Teachers’ special for NQTS, Ed Tech, How to Get a Job, Trip Planner, Ed Biz Special and all Tes back issues.

Subscribe now