From Edinburgh's Liberton High, where senior chief inspector Douglas Osler once graced the staffroom (no, no he's not taking over there too), we hear of a vacancy. The Educational Institute of Scotland rep is stepping down.
Bryan Ryalls has decided he should give his successor a taste of what to expect. Perks include "12 weeks paid leave per annum (and) four free cheese and wines at Moray Place (EIS HQ)". But the new rep will also be required to "meet and mingle with staff you would normally avoid; this is good for something called the school's 'ethos'."
The suitable candidate, Ryalls continues, "will need big ears to network the grapevine, a long nose to sniff out the nonsense and the eyes of a hawk to watch the yuftie board and exam supervision for 'mistakes'."
A website is not essential, he adds, but webbed feet might come in handy.