It must be very confusing growing up these days. If you're at school and you want a regular supply of mood-altering drugs, all you have to do is behave badly enough for long enough and, after a cosy chat with the educational psychologist, you will be prescribed Ritalin - all on the NHS.
If you carry on behaving badly, they'll even up the dose. Go to college, on the other hand, and it's a different story. If the drug-testing scheme we report on page 3 this week catches on, the taking of drugs - including alcohol - will result in students being suspended. Well, in theory.
The college in question reckons students will agree to voluntary drug-testing because they will come under peer-group pressure from other students who disapprove of drugs. That's right. Peer group pressure which STOPS teenagers taking drugs.
Teenagers, or young people as they must be called, have an expression for this: "yeah, right".
FErret is prepared to wager a fiver of his extremely hard-earned cash that the number of drug-taking students who agree to the test will be somewhere in the region of zero.