We hear the SQA has decided to tailor next year's Standard grade maths exam to Glasgow and Edinburgh pupils. Sample questions have come our way. See how you do, but don't bother sending in the answers.
The Glasgow paper asks for "name, nickname, gang name" before launching in:
1 Shug has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an eight-ball to Malkie for 300 quid and 90 grams to Gozy for 90 quid a gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
2(a) Christy got six years for murder. He also got pound;350,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends pound;33,100 a year, how much money will be left when he gets out?
(b) How much more time will Christy get for killing the slapper that spent his money?
3 If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average letter is one square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with an eight-fluid-ounce can of spray paint with 20 per cent exta paint free?
4 Bagga steals Dunky's skateboard. As Bagga skates away at a speed of 35mph, Dunky loads his brother's piece. If it takes Dunky 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Bagga have travelled when he gets whacked?
Edinburgh questions open not with names but "Daddy's company . . ."
1 Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing X amount of damage and killing three people. The old man asks his local MP to intervene in the courts, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of Y. The difference between X and Y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?
2 Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't notice. Is she thick or what?