Don't get eggy over kids' chat
Sorry, grundy, but you're a sad old has-been, who is going to look well fake if you try to slip them into a conversation with a young person. Those are last year's words. I know, it's a mare. Or is it a mission?
Those nice people at Dillons, the book chain, and the Oxford Dictionaries have done us all a favour with another survey of the latest in words the kidz are using today. It will save us all from feeling a bit eggy.
Out go pukka (cool), on it (ditto) and large (great). In come rare (cool), mare (nightmare or "bad situation") and fish ("someone you don't like"). Some things don't change - lush still means sexy, and our erudite youth have revived the 17th-century insult spoon, meaning idiot.
Dillons spokeswoman Ruth Killick said: "We were staggered by some results. I thought I knew what a spliff meant, but I didn't." (Spliff apparently now means idiot or spamhead. Take care when you next go to Glastonbury).
The results of the survey may well be in the next issue of Dillons' "yoof" magazine, Word Up. If they leave it any later, they'll look a bit ferret.
boff - boffin; eggy - stressed; ferret - stupid; grundy - old person; mission - difficult task; safe - "sorted"