This week, I have been obsessing about all things green and, for once, I don't mean the colour of my latest handbag but, in fact, that ubiquitous metaphor for environmental action. In short, I have decided to ditch the excuses, save the planet and form my own small tribe of chico-warriors (chico being the term that sold the idea to me - there will be no crusty dreadlocks or any patchwork jerkins, thank you very much).
Actually, this bout of environmental altr-uism is largely because, since moving house, I now have a kitchen that has room enough to swing two Persian cats with obesity issues (as opposed to one that would make a chihuahua feel cramped).
There is enough cupboard space to allow for dedicated recycling areas.
Paper, glass, cans and plastic are all sorted and stored until such time we can be bothered to off-load them at the communal recycling bins.
I anticipate us leaving it so long that we are eventually swimming in a cocktail of recycle-pending clutter in the style of a How Clean is your House? nightmare - Aggie and Kim, watch this space.
My environmental crusade doesn't stop there. I am now on a mission to revamp the mega-messy waste disposal unit that is known as my classroom.
Environmental order and harmony here we come.
The pupils are all on board, although they are somewhat less enthusia-stic about my suggestion that every time they waste a sheet of paper they should go outside to kiss a tree. It is their excuses which concern me the most:
"Miss, that's dangerous - last time I licked a tree trunk, an army of ants came out and bit my tongue." Or: "Don't be silly, Miss. What has paper got to do with trees?"
Ho hum. It's not easy being green
Louisa Leaman is a London teacher