Elementary

21st January 2005 at 00:00
Calum and Angus decide they aren't getting anywhere in life and should go to college.

Calum goes in first and the course adviser suggests that he should take maths, communication and logic. "What's logic?" asks Calum. The adviser says: "Let me give you an example. Do you own a lawnmower?"

"Aye, I do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a garden."

"You worked that out," responds Calum in awe.

The adviser continues: "Logic will also tell me that, since you have a garden, you also have a house."

Impressed, Calum shouts: "Great stuff."

"And since you own a house and a house is a lot to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you probably have a wife."

"Spot on, this is just amazing."

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual rather than homosexual."

"Magic! I can't wait to get started on this logic."

Proud of the new world opening up, Calum goes back to the room where Angus is waiting.

"So what classes are you taking?" asks Angus.

"Maths, communication and logic."

"What the hell is logic?"

"Here's an example. Have you got a lawnmower?"

"No."

"So you're gay, aren't you?"

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