A trip down the Costa Clyde to Gourock was not an attractive option for Scottish members of the National Association of Schoolmasters Union of Women Teachers due there next month for their annual conference.
But Tino Ferri, the union's irrepressible Scottish spokesman, took matters into his own decisive hands and switched the event to the union HQ in Edinburgh. This has, surprisingly, poved attractive. Handy for the Princes Street shops, of course.
Sadly, the Gourock and Ferri puns will have to be tidied away for another day. You know the ones, like the remarkable similarity between the Gourock Ferry and Tino Ferri: one takes on passengers, sails into deep water and goes to Dunoon. The other takes on passengers, sails into deep water and asks for the moon.