Fingers on the jargon button

18th July 2003 at 01:00
True or false?

* A Strand is type of 1960s cigarette.

* Breadth is the first swimming certificate you get at school.

IF you know the answers, you are well on your way to understanding the current obsession with jargon and acronyms, according to the Professional Association of Teachers Scotland in its summer magazine.

The non-striking union has helpfully devised a simple set of posers for all aspiring teachers and trainee teachers who need to know their way round the system.

So fingers on the button for the true or false answers.

* Level B is where you parked your car last night.

* Ethos is a statue in Piccadilly Circus.

* Balance is a breakfast cereal.

* Rigour is a kind of offshore worker.

* Early intervention is the arrival home of your son or daughter at five in the morning.

* Top slicing was when the grocer cut off the ham with green bits in it.

* A supported setting is another name for a surgical truss.

* An outcome is when you have a frizzy perm straightened.

* Victoria Quay is married to a striker in Footballers' Wives.

* Teacher Support Scotland is where you can buy the trusses referred to earlier.

* Quango is a famous wrestler from the days of Kent Walton and ITV.

* Continuity is something to do with films.

* Hypothecated funding is the cost of running a chemist shop.

* A chartered teacher is a retired principal teacher of music who plays piano on cruise liners.

* Rationalisation was the issuing of goodies to the chosen few.

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