From the forums

3rd February 2012 at 00:00

If I should ever ... please kill me

Ask for a trouser press as a present...Vote Conservative...Say, "That was a good PowerPoint." Any other offers?

magic surf bus

Grow a moustache...Fart in front of my class...Start fancying the headteacher.


Buy another beige-coloured bra.


Buy another beige coloured bra.


Buy another beige-coloured bra.


Stop thinking the assistant headteacher is an enormous boil on the arse of humanity...Mark in green for the sake of their precious minds rather than because it was the nearest pen.


Read Jordan's autobiography!...Give in to the urge to wear leggings (I am plumptious and over 50).


If I come out of a meeting and say, "That was useful!"...Or if I volunteer for extra unpaid responsibility "for the experience to advance my career".


Have a child and talk about it ALL the time, with such grand achievements as sleeping five hours straight and swallowing food... Watch soaps...Call my partner "Babe" in anything other than a horribly sarcastic voice.


Get married again...Allow myself ever again to hate someone so much it consumes my life...Forget how great my job is and how lucky I am to have it.


Agree with my boss about anything remotely connected to education.


Join the debate at

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?


To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers


Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar,, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today