From the forums - Oppressed bibliophiles ready to pump up the volume

4th February 2011 at 00:00
But rubber bands stretch the fearful to breaking point. And then there's 'people-devourers'

The Amazon Kindle may seem unstoppable, but for teachers in the online staffroom nothing beats a good old-fashioned book.

Doglover can't get enough of them. "There is just something about having a little pile of lovely, untouched books to delve into," she says. "I rarely seem to be able to buy just one book at a time."

Doglover's confession prompts a flood of similiar musings. For magic surf bus, books have many advantages over their electronic rivals. "You can't swat a wasp with a Kindle, or go to sleep in the sun with a Kindle over your face," magic surf bus says.

It is not just new books that cast a spell. "Old books have a history and smell all of their own," Bauble says. "Who has read them? What events have they lived through?"

But Bauble's pastime may not be entirely innocent. Bombaysapphire reports that "the smell of old books can be a hallucinogenic fungus". Does that mean that old books are the next meow meow? When you start hearing of antiquarian book dealers hanging around the playground, you know it is time to worry.

Phoenixchild spends so much time in book stores, it excites the attention of store detectives. This is a source of pride rather than anxiety, but there are plenty of other things that make our posters nervous. Dentists and flying figure highly, but there is also danger lurking in innocuous-seeming objects. Bethannie is not so keen on that scourge of modern society, the rubber band. "They totally freak me out," she says. "I can't bear them."

Kirstenpankhurst has an aversion to masks while Flutterbyplant has a very reasonable fear of people-devourers, otherwise known as escalators. "I *know* it won't eat me at the end, but I still take the stairs if it's an option."

And when it comes to flying, Franklyn2 is much more afraid of airports than being suspended in mid-air. "The closer I get to the airport, the more nervous I become," Franklyn2 says. "Even just thinking about airports makes me feel nervous."

Moving swiftly on, Jonha has an altogether different concern. His girlfriend has just moved in, and despite having the appealing combination of a "great body, doesn't talk much", there is a hitch. And it concerns the TV. "She actually prefers to watch TV commercials than surf other channels," he laments. Cue much discussion of men's propensity to channel hop, but Papaya makes a different, perhaps more pertinent, point: "If she's just moved in, you shouldn't be watching any TV at all!" Indeed. He should be smelling old books instead.

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