Hayfever Couple

21st July 1995 at 01:00

He sneezes and she sneezes for pollen is their common enemy.

Never mind the straw hat and strawberry.

This is the season of deadly breezes when redness flickers in their oozing eyes and they spend their days in sniffles underneath the bastard summer skies.

They've tried acupuncture and hypnosis.

Still those sneezes will persist.

Poor couple, they can't stroll among flowers and breathe in the air like classic lovers.

Not today darling, the pollen count's too high.

And so they wipe each other's weeping eye.

Yet it's strange how a feather pillow seems to excite their libido.

They'd talk about the birds and the bees as they sneeze upon their knees in a wanton midsummer glow.

This is the first of six poems commissioned for the Summer School.

John Agard's latest collection for adults is lovelines for a Goat - born Lady (serpent's Tail) and for children Laughter is an egg (Viking).

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?


To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers


Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar, Buyagift.com, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today