Kate takes charge for Red Nose classroom skit
Insert your best jokes about "caning" here: this evening, Kate Moss will play a secondary teacher as part of a sketch for Red Nose Day.
To raise money for Comic Relief, the supermodel is appearing in a one-off skit in which she teaches a class about fashion. Kate, in low-cut blouse, pouts her way over the desk at pupils in less-than-fashionable maroon blazers.
It seems slightly churlish to criticise Red Nose Day. After all, the money raised for charity is probably worth the nails-on-a-blackboard sight of celebrities delivering an evening of enforced fun.
But the response from the tabloids ("Moss gets a gold star for this sexy Miss style," exclaimed The Sun) suggests our national sense of humour hasn't moved on since the "Oo-er, matron" jokes of the 1970s.
A more elevating approach to fundraising has been taken by a primary head, who is putting a lesson plan up for sale on the online auction site, eBay.
Hazel Wheatley, of Normanby-by-Spital Primary, was told by Ofsted inspectors that her key stage 2 English lesson was outstanding. It requires pupils to discuss a YouTube video entitled The Black Hole, in which an office worker discovers a black hole in a photocopier.
The lesson went on sale on Tuesday and is available for one week at the "buy it now" price of Pounds 1 - all proceeds will go to Comic Relief.
Buy the lesson at: http:tinyurl.comd^f5ptr
Find out about other school projects at www.comicrelief.com.