HAMISH VERNAL, Aberdeenshire's retired director of education and recreation, is not looking for things to fill his time. If he is not on the golf course, he is rehearsing for the part of Donna, the ugly sister of Bella, in a local performance of Cinderella.
His talented seamstress wife has been on the look-out for bridesmaids' dresses to alter as costumes, so Hamish could not resist trying on a particularly lovely red number which he spotted in a charity shop. He felt that he should offer some background information to the shop assistant.
"Sir," she said knowingly, "you don't have to explain yourself to me."