Laughable qualifications

27th October 1995 at 00:00
A great opportunity is about to be lost. If the new headteacher qualifications are really to take a form equivalent to a rather boring level 5 national vocational qualification, the Government has signally failed in its intention to reduce the education service to the same depth of ridicule that politics currently enjoys.

"S Drone, MA, NVQ" on the school sign and notepaper hasn't got half the impact of "S Drone, MA, DipStICK" (Diploma in Studies of Information and Communication of Knowledge) when it comes to communicating the essential skills needed to run today's schools. "S Drone, MSc, DiplODocUS" (Diploma in Offloading Documentation on Unsuspecting Staff) nicely combines the main activities required with just a hint of the future fortunes of the breed; we all know what happened to the dinosaurs.

Similarly, "S Drone, MEd, DipSOManIAC" (Diploma in Studies of Managing Information And Curriculum) adequately conveys the stress of the job.

If we are heading down the road of reducing all the great social services - education, welfare, health, transport - to the status of laughing stock, we might as well do it properly.

TONY PURCELL 18 Bouverie Road Chelmsford Essex.

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