Letters extra : Blue skies, larking

12th December 2003 at 00:00

The proposal to put just one teacher in each school is long overdue. Here at the Bureau Of Lead Learners for Original Creative Knowledge and Serendipity, our consultants (available to schools for a hefty fee) are at this moment indulging in their own "blue sky" ideas:

  • Shoot all teachers at 65 - this will save a fortune in pension payments and restrict the numbers of whingy letters sent to newspapers.
  • Reduce the school-leaving age to nine and send children out to work - at last we'll be able to buy shoelaces in the high street!
  • Franchise school meals to McDonald's
  • Schools to stay open 24 hours a day.
  • Decimalise the school year - bring in a 10-day week with 100 weeks in the year - this will simplify timetabling.
  • Prince Charles to teach compulsory grammar lessons to all four-year-olds.
  • Put Chris Woodhead in charge of Ofsted...
    • Hang on, they've tried the last one.

      Richard Knights
      16 The Fairway
      Liverpool

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