Messages for the hopeless

25th April 2003 at 01:00
A REALISTIC alternative to the dull recorded messages on school telephone systems was suggested to delegates by John Dunford, general secretary of the Secondary Heads Association: "If you want to swear at a teacher, press 1; if you want to lie about your child's absence, press 2; if your child has recently been diagnosed with a syndrome and you want to tell us how to teach him, press 3; and if you want to take your child on holiday and would like us to reschedule the whole GCSE time-table for him, press 4."

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