My worst parent - Bad attack, worse defence
So you felt that I was wrong to send your son off for violent conduct? Maybe you don't think there is anything wrong with Mike kicking the goalie, pushing him over and jumping on him.
I realise that in the heat of the moment I didn't have time to reread the Football Association's referees' handbook, but I am confident that booting the goalkeeper is a sending off offence.
I didn't have a red card with me so I simply told Mike to go back to the classroom and wait for me there. As he marched away he managed to get an accurate kick at the corner flag and found the clarity of mind to wave a couple of fingers at me. I am not certain whether a player can be sent off twice in one match - I'll check.
I admit that I was surprised to find you and Mike waiting for me by the door so soon after the final whistle. The beauty of the mobile phone - not only can you tell everyone you're on the bus; you can use it to get your dad to sort out your problems.
As soon as I turned the corner you started your attack. You tackled me on my "humiliating decision" to "early bath" your son.
Then you shoved your face into mine, shouting straight at my nose. Next you pushed me - it was foul play. I am no diver, but I was happy to stagger back, ready to throw in the towel. Fortunately you didn't follow through the move. Maybe you realised what the penalty would be.
The two of you turned and went off. As you marched down the corridor, I was quite impressed with your accurate kick at the fire extinguisher and gave a small smile as you waved two fingers at me. It is clear where Mike gets his football skills from.
The writer is an educational consultant and headteacher.