On the naughty step - Conduct that deserves a ticking off

10th January 2014 at 00:00

This week: Tatler

So it seems that the well-heeled have it just as tough as the rest of us. Every parent wants to give their child the best, of course, but what if the school fees demanded by top private schools are simply out of reach?

Fear not! Tatler has the answer. According to the bible of the high society crowd, the key is simply to go to a regular state school and mix with the plebs. After all, as the magazine puts it, "when you do finally get into the Cabinet, everyone will love you because you didn't go to Eton". Well, quite.

Of course, a publication like this isn't referring to any old state school. Although we in education know that fantastic teaching can be found anywhere - in state and private establishment alike - Tatler seems to think that most of the UK's best government-run schools are based in West London and the Home Counties.

Moreover, proving that it will never replace England's schools inspectorate Ofsted, the magazine rates these according to credentials such as being "very cakey" and the fact that "Yasmin Le Bon is a former pupil" - the model wife (pictured) of Duran Duran frontman Simon being the very pinnacle of achieved potential.

So, Tatler, to the naughty step with you, where you'll find that a map of the UK and a sense of perspective awaits. You may have proclaimed "We are not idiots" - we at TES Towers are yet to be convinced.

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