1 "There is nothing you could say to me now that I would ever believe" - who (allegedly) to whom?
a Jen to Brad
b Gordon to Tony
c Archbishop of Canterbury to God
d God to Jerry
2 Which tragic love split has devastated the world?
a Brad 'n' Jennifer
b Jude 'n' Sienna
c Tony 'n' Gordon
d Germaine 'n' John
3 Which shocking TV scenes could lead to court action?
a John McCririck in his underwear
b Germaine Greer fighting for control of the kitchen
c Jesus "I'm a bit gay" Christ on Jerry Springer, the Opera
d Gordon and Tony's split-screen bloodbath
4 Why does the Post Office want to buy (back) into the phones business?
a It's a significant new business stream
b Great opportunity to lose money
c Good chance to make 20 per cent of calls late
d Too many international calls still reaching the right country
5 Why does cremation pose a danger to health?
a Asthma-inducing particulates from the ashes
b Vapourised mercury from dental fillings
c Dioxins from cheap coffins
d Some of them aren't dead yet
1b, 2a, 3c, 4a, 5b