Nonsense words spell a nonsensical future

14th January 2011 at 00:00

Quangowocky (with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

'Twas reading and, at Gove's behest -

No consultation must delay -

All nonsense was the phonics test

That the kids had sat that day.

"Beware the real words, my son!

That mean something, that rhyme and match!

Beware the meaningful and shun.

Yurk, dar, grint are the new batch!"

He took his vengsome sword in hand:

Long time the Revolution's foes he sought -

So rushed he to the Maoist tree,

T'see what he could import.

And as in doitish thought he stood,

The Quangowock, with eyes aflame,

Quoam pronking through the sprunchy wood,

And ploobled as it came.

One, two, one two! And through and through

The vengsome blade went doit and gax.

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Quangowock?

Come to my arms, my doitish boy!

O quangless day! No QCDA!"

He chortled in his joy.

'Twas policy and at Gove's behest -

No consultation must delay -

All whimsy was the Bacc'ltest,

Awarded retrospectively.

Richard Fraser, Blogger for Voice: the union for education professionals, Derby.

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?


To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers


Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar,, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today