Pantomimes - Farting, spitting, men in frocks - it's that time of year again

19th December 2008 at 00:00
We asked children around Scotland to review this year's pantos, with all their magical costumes, hilarious jokes and 'scaaaary' bits too


King's Theatre, Glasgow

The acting was extremely good, but the one who stood out was the Fairy GodmotherEvil Stepmother. All the characters' enthusiasm was very infectious and you could see they were enjoying it. The Evil Stepmother's costume was amazing. Cinderella's was very good too, and the speed at which the Fairy Godmother changed into an old lady in rags. The music was brilliant. Sometimes it drowned out the singers, and some of the tunes were girly, but then I suppose girly tunes would go with Cinderella.

Fraser, P7, and Oisean, P4, Corrie Primary

Our favourite scene was when the ghosts, mummies and the creature in the mirror haunted the Baron and Buttons. It was clever how everything appeared in the room. The songs we enjoyed most were "Here come the girls", which was sung by the Ugly Sisters and the Stepmother, and "Wake up it's a Beautiful Morning", sung by The Fairy Godmother. It was amazing how Karen Dunbar played two characters. She looked so different as the lovely Fairy Godmother and the wicked Stepmother.

Tabitha, P6, and Fiona, P5, Corrie Primary

My favourite funny bit was when the Ugly Sisters came on in the weird dresses, especially the one with the big bottom.

Miranda, P5, Strath of Appin Primary

The best bit was when Buttons was in the well. The Baron sang a song and Buttons tried to echo him, but ended up rhyming instead. The funniest was when the Ugly Sisters were called bags. The Baron told Buttons to take the bags into the house and he tried to take them in instead of the suitcases.

Stewart, P6, Strath of Appin Primary

The best bit was when the ghosts, the mummy and the scary face in the mirror were chasing Buttons and the Baron ... I liked when the Baron was being made to take his medicine and Buttons was telling him knock-knock jokes and he was doing it all wrong by saying "Come in" and things like that.

Anna, P6, Hunter Primary

The best joke was when the ugly step sisters said: "Is your first name Chocolate?" to Buttons, and "Is your first name Belly?" They were so funny. The only bit I didn't like was the bedroom when the ghosts came out and were following Buttons. It was so scaaarrrry!

Mairead, P6, Hunter Primary

The best jokes were when Buttons was stuck down the magic wishing well and the Baron said: "Oh, magic wishing well, will my dreams come true?" and the magic wishing well (Buttons) said: "To be honest, I haven't a clue!", and when the ugly step sister said: "Well, you can just call me Windy", her bum went "PPPPPAAAAARRRRPPPPP!!!!!" - it was really funny.

Scott, P7, Hunter Primary

The jokes were very funny and were recent. Camilla, the step mum, had a very hilarious costume and looked like it had been covered in coal. She was evil and everyone would boo at her because she was being nasty to Cinderella ... The Ugly Sisters were always wearing something stupid.

Stephen, P7, Hunter Primary


King's Theatre, Edinburgh

Unfortunately the 3D didn't work, so we wore ridiculously hideous glasses for half the performance, waiting for it to come on. Sadly it didn't. Despite this, we all had a really good time ... especially the ice cream! It was hilarious, though mainly the jokes were made by Alan Stewart (as Widow Twanky, Aladdin's mum). The main plot was good, and the jokes fantastic!

Anna, Anna and Anya, S1, George Heriot's School

My favourite bit was when Aladdin's mother went on Scotland's Got Talent and told them about her budgie dying. "It was last week. I was doing the ironing when I heard a thump from his wee cage. I looked round and there he was, lying at the bottom with his eyes shut. I picked him up and his wee eyes opened and he was alive, but then I saw that his wee leg was broken. So I put a matchstick under his wee leg to help him walk again and you should have seen him! Hobbling around looking so happy! But, then how was I to know that he would drag his wee matchstick leg along the sandpaper at the bottom of his cage!"

Edie, S1, George Heriot's School

The outfits were very strange and different. The emperor's were huge (like him) and puffy with tassels and stuff like that. Widow Twanky was ... strange and was a pantomime dame. Shehe was a man and was also Aladdin's mum.

Holly 'n Molly, S1, George Heriot's School

The pantomime was a great laugh, especially the rude humour? Our favourite part was the jumping acrobats - they amazed us!

Jamie and Gillie, S1, George Heriot's School

The acting was fantastic but the bit that made me jump out of my skin was when the woman "fell" off the box. The costumes were outrageous as ever, with the pantomime dame leading the way with her huge dresses. Like any pantomime, the jokes were the highlight, from the classic Hibs and Hearts jokes to more recent ones. I really enjoyed my night.

Jenny, S1, George Heriot's School


Dundee Rep

I liked the Beast best because he had to walk on his tip toes all the way through. His costume was all hairy. The best bit was when they were having dinner together - it was really funny.

Chloe, P6, Dens Road Primary

I did enjoy it but it was exciting and a bit scary. My favourite scene was when Beauty and the Beast were having tea and he climbed on the table. It was very dramatic.

Rebecca, P6, Dens Road Primary

I liked Emile best because he was funny. I liked the mud scene because it was messy, and the best joke was when Beauty said: "What's on the menu?" and the Beast said: "You".

Kaitlin, P6, Dens Road Primary


His Majesty's Theatre, Aberdeen

The best scene was when the lost children and Wendy, Michael and John are tied up in the pirates' cave, because it made me want to see what happened next. Captain Hook looked like he enjoyed his part. My favourite joke was the treasure chest one, because it made me laugh and I understood it, but I didn't understand some of the others. "What's that you're wearing?" "It's my treasure chest." I didn't like the part when Tinkerbell died because I felt sad, but I felt happier when Peter Pan saved her.

Milly, Lower 5, Albyn School

My best joke was when Hook told Smee to say: "Busy bee, busy bee, what have you got in your hive for me?", then Hook spat water at him.

Zoe, Lower 5, Albyn School

I didn't like the bit where Maggie spat at Smee, because it makes the floor slippy and it spreads germs.

Heather, Lower 5, Albyn School

Tiger Lily's costume was my favourite because it showed that she really was Indian. She had an amazing voice. I didn't like it when people went into a soppy song, especially Tinkerbell's about Peter. However, I liked Tinkerbell's costume because it dazzled, so I wanted my sunshades. I think that since it dazzled so much, it must be made for a happier song. The lights and decorations were amazing because of the way they dazzled and shined. I thought the flying was a great way to catch attention.

Amy, Lower 5, Albyn School

The joke that I liked was when Smee and Maggie found the skunk and said it was smelly. I thought it was funny ... The part I didn't like was when Smee said: "Arrrrr" to Maggie. I thought it was rude.

Megan, Lower 5, Albyn School


Hopscotch Theatre, Glasgow

The part I liked best was when Eezer Squeezer turned into a beanstalk! I liked the characters and the movement and the costumes. I think Eezer Squeezer deserved to turn into a beanstalk because he was very mean. Jack's mum was very silly and very funny."

Holly, P3, Hyndland Primary

This was ultra-super-tastic-mega-brilliant! Everyone knows the story but it was a little bit different because the mother was played by a man and there was a rich baddie!

The funniest bit was when the giant said: "Fee Fi Fo Fum I smell the blood of an Englishman", and then Jack said: "I'm Scottish actually." It was also funny when the mother was knocking on the door then the door swung open, hit her on the head and she went flying. During the play the rich baddie ate the magic beans and at the end of the story the beanstalk started to grow out of her mouth! This play will make you giggle and laugh and have a nice time. We highly recommend it to everyone!

George, Ethan, Jamie, Claire and Rosie, P3, Hyndland Primary


Pantomime in Scotland, a research project based at Glasgow University, would like to hear from teachers who have produced a schools pantomime this Christmas.

The project, funded by the Arts and Humanities Research Council, is recording details of all types of pantomime - community, schools and youth-based - taking place across Scotland in 2008-09. The aim is to build a national picture of pantomime activity.

Please send details of title, venue, and dates of performances, with contact phone or email address to

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