More gems from the yoof of today from GCSE exam papers in English south of the border.
"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature British beef."
"The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first of several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP."
"The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint."
"The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lampost."
"He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing."
"Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened."
"Her hair glistened in the rain, like nose hair after a sneeze."