a Which bastard threw the egg?
b I love you all, sob
c Sorry for the smell
2 What new help are London teachers to receive?
a 25 per cent off houses they still can't afford
b Stun guns in certain inner city primaries
c Interpreters to help them understand Australian supply teachers
3 What apparently caused our prime minister's heart problems?
b A guilty conscience
c Too much coffee
4 What's the latest blow to French tourism?
a "Hospitality workers" on strike in Pigalle
b A 36 per cent rise in fag prices
c Derailments on the Paris metro