24th October 2003 at 01:00
1 What did David Blaine say after his 44-day publicity stunt?

a Which bastard threw the egg?

b I love you all, sob

c Sorry for the smell

2 What new help are London teachers to receive?

a 25 per cent off houses they still can't afford

b Stun guns in certain inner city primaries

c Interpreters to help them understand Australian supply teachers

3 What apparently caused our prime minister's heart problems?

a Stress

b A guilty conscience

c Too much coffee

4 What's the latest blow to French tourism?

a "Hospitality workers" on strike in Pigalle

b A 36 per cent rise in fag prices

c Derailments on the Paris metro

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?


To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers


Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar, Buyagift.com, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today