1 Which scourge of thugs and criminals turned up to a public meeting with a black eye?
a David Blunkett
b Tony Blair
c Nick Ross
2 Why was Louise Danby arrested outside the Greek embassy?
a Smashing plates
b Pinching a policeman's bum
c Pelting the entrance with Turkish Delight
3 Why is William Hague the new Bernard Manning?
a He's put on 15 stone
b He's moved in with his mother
c He still thinks telling Irish jokes is funny
4 One in three primary heads says parents have done what?
a Faked serious illness to avoid parents' evenings
b Used steroids to win the dads' race on sports day
c Tried bribery or threats to get a place for their children
QUIZ ANSWERS 1a; 2b; 3c; 4c