5th December 2003 at 00:00
1 Which scourge of thugs and criminals turned up to a public meeting with a black eye?

a David Blunkett

b Tony Blair

c Nick Ross

2 Why was Louise Danby arrested outside the Greek embassy?

a Smashing plates

b Pinching a policeman's bum

c Pelting the entrance with Turkish Delight

3 Why is William Hague the new Bernard Manning?

a He's put on 15 stone

b He's moved in with his mother

c He still thinks telling Irish jokes is funny

4 One in three primary heads says parents have done what?

a Faked serious illness to avoid parents' evenings

b Used steroids to win the dads' race on sports day

c Tried bribery or threats to get a place for their children

QUIZ ANSWERS 1a; 2b; 3c; 4c

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