1. Why is ministers' pledge to cut truancy in trouble?
a The new anti-obesity drive will help kids run away faster
b Eighty per cent of parents are planning a sickie themselves
c Truancy rates have risen 40 per cent since 1997
2 In what new way is the nanny state to protect us?
a Traffic wardens to check pedestrians' shoelaces are done up
b New laws to make sure tap water isn't too hot
c Decibel controls on the new Radio 1 breakfast show
3 How are Americans making visitors feel really welcome?
a Free cookies at the airport
b. A cheery smile and handshake from customs officials
c Taking picture as they arrive
4 Who is footballer Michael Owen's girlfriend?
a Don't know
b Don't know, but she just fell off a horse
c I'm sorry, but is this really news?
Answers below the crossword
1c, 2b, 3c, 4b