The mayhem yobs in hoodies are said to wreak in shopping malls is nothing compared with the mayhem they are causing in Whitehall.
Heavyweights David Blunkett and John Prescott both fancied taking on the "Ali G agenda", only to see responsibility given to "Year-8-in-a-suit" David Miliband. But Ruth "Respect" Kelly and Home Secretary Charles "Bruiser" Clarke keep wading in. We are told Home Office officials are now running around "like blue-arsed flies" to track down research on hoodies.
Now that is a study Diary wants to see. Thoughts under cover: a randomised controlled trial of the impact of headwear on the emotional intelligence of the teenage male perhaps? Further suggestions gratefully received. The best wins a pound;10 voucher to shop unmolested at Bluewater.